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Getting Back on the Horse

1/20/2014

3 Comments

 
If you follow @fatgirlrunns on Twitter, my latest running slump is no secret.  Namely in the fact that I have not tweeted on that account a whole lot, and when I have, I've noted that I haven't been running. That's a bit of an understatement. The fact is, after I finished my half marathon, I fell out of love with running. From my half marathon at the end of October to the end of November, I ran twice. From the end of November to January 19, I did not run a single step.

The reason for my hiatus was largely a lot of motivational and emotional issues that prevented me from having the desire to run. Working so much and being in school, when I got home at the end of the day, I just wanted to do absolutely nothing. Thankfully, unlike when I was obese, doing nothing at home at the end of the day did not mean eating horrible stuff. But it did mean not running.

Then, on December 31, life took another turn. I suffered a concussion and of course with a traumatic brain injury, you cannot do any physical activity. While I was out of commission with the concussion, about a week after it happened, I suddenly had my "come to Jesus" moment and wanted to run again. But I couldn't. It was a little bit excruciating. I couldn't even play with my kettlebell or hand weights. No physical activity means NO physical activity.
PictureAppointment summary from my doc. Cleared!
Today, I had my follow-up appointment with my doctor's office to get concussion clearance. I have felt completely fine the past two weeks or so (I only felt symptoms for the first few days after my concussion) but I was still nervous that I would not be cleared. But I passed my neurological exam and I was officially cleared.

I said on Twitter that if I passed, I would run to celebrate. And I did. Chicago was expecting a snowstorm this evening, so I decided after my appointment that I would depart for the gym as soon as possible.

Picture
And I did it. I went to the gym for the first time since early November. I put the spandex back on and drove to the gym. Once I got there, the treadmills were pretty stacked with resolutioners, but I managed to find one available. Once I stepped up and stretched a bit, I realized that the treadmill's TV was not working. Initially, I was bummed, but it ended up being the best thing for me in my first foray into running in several months.

Instead of alternately staring at the TV and the run clock, I focused on my own reflection in the unlit television screen. And I ran.

I was planning to take it easy after the brain injury and the layoff, so I started off at a 10-minute mile. But only a few minutes into the run, I literally found myself bumping into the front of the treadmill -- I was trying to run faster than the tread speed. I still felt fine, so I upped the speed a bit. And upped it again. And again.

About 20 minutes into my run, I was feeling a little tired, but I was managing a 9:20 mile on my first real paced run since my half. When I looked at my reflection in the unlit TV screen, I saw a strong woman. I saw a determined woman, a committed woman who wanted to do this. It was probably one of the better runs I've ever had.

So I did it. I was planning on a 30 minute, 3 mile run. I did so, even with a 1:30 walking start. I felt so alive. I felt so happy. I felt invigorated. Today, I remembered that I was made for running. Running makes me happy and makes me feel invincible. I'm back on the horse. I'm back in the game. And hopefully, I'll never stop again.

3 Comments
Karen link
1/20/2014 11:49:19 am

You look great in your picture! Loving the big smile :) I am glad you are healed up and ready to go again. Being injured stinks.

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Karen link
1/20/2014 11:52:20 am

I have been where you were - just kind of shutting down when you get home. sometimes it's hard giving so much throughout the day there's nothing left for your self. I totally understand that and I am glad you are at a break through moment :)

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Lisa link
1/21/2014 12:13:51 am

I really like how you draw comparisons from the old you. It's great you were able to take a break but not fall completely off the horse!

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    An ex-fat girl on life, fitness and food.

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