The reason for my hiatus was largely a lot of motivational and emotional issues that prevented me from having the desire to run. Working so much and being in school, when I got home at the end of the day, I just wanted to do absolutely nothing. Thankfully, unlike when I was obese, doing nothing at home at the end of the day did not mean eating horrible stuff. But it did mean not running.
Then, on December 31, life took another turn. I suffered a concussion and of course with a traumatic brain injury, you cannot do any physical activity. While I was out of commission with the concussion, about a week after it happened, I suddenly had my "come to Jesus" moment and wanted to run again. But I couldn't. It was a little bit excruciating. I couldn't even play with my kettlebell or hand weights. No physical activity means NO physical activity.
I said on Twitter that if I passed, I would run to celebrate. And I did. Chicago was expecting a snowstorm this evening, so I decided after my appointment that I would depart for the gym as soon as possible.
Instead of alternately staring at the TV and the run clock, I focused on my own reflection in the unlit television screen. And I ran.
I was planning to take it easy after the brain injury and the layoff, so I started off at a 10-minute mile. But only a few minutes into the run, I literally found myself bumping into the front of the treadmill -- I was trying to run faster than the tread speed. I still felt fine, so I upped the speed a bit. And upped it again. And again.
About 20 minutes into my run, I was feeling a little tired, but I was managing a 9:20 mile on my first real paced run since my half. When I looked at my reflection in the unlit TV screen, I saw a strong woman. I saw a determined woman, a committed woman who wanted to do this. It was probably one of the better runs I've ever had.
So I did it. I was planning on a 30 minute, 3 mile run. I did so, even with a 1:30 walking start. I felt so alive. I felt so happy. I felt invigorated. Today, I remembered that I was made for running. Running makes me happy and makes me feel invincible. I'm back on the horse. I'm back in the game. And hopefully, I'll never stop again.